Tag Archives: work

To Have and to Hold – Part 6 – Oh Where, Oh Where Did My Property Go?

I was the charge nurse for a general surgical floor and you might say that things were a bit hazardous.  That’s actually putting it mildly.  You might have less risk of harm bungee jumping off the Kawarau Bridge in New Zealand with rubber bands wrapped around your ankles than receiving patient care under these circumstances.

Between sundown to sunup, just what would the body count be?

Working on the night shift meant that in addition to myself and a LPN, my staff was composed of a rotating group of five or six graduate nurses still waiting to see if they passed State Boards.  They weren’t licensed, but the hospital let them practice as though they were.   This small band of ragtag, inexperienced, semi-educated, youngsters and I had to take care of forty-nine very, very sick, post-op surgical patients.

We had twenty-four patients on cardiac monitors, and I was the only RN on duty and the only nurse certified in the reading and interpretation of EKGs.  I was the only nurse on that shift for that ward with any length of experience.  In addition to supervising my grads and ensuring their patients’ safety, I had to take a full load of my own patients.  And based on the hospital’s patient acuity system, each nurse would routinely be assigned 14 to 16 hours of patient care to deliver in an 8-hour shift.

Nice.

I worked those shifts at a full gallop.  And once the graduate nurses got their licenses, they would move on to other units and other shifts and be replaced by another group of graduates.  Thus, the five to six-month cycle of rotating bodies.  This always left me with a staff of inexperienced nurses who needed constant supervision and on-the-job training.

Crazy and dangerous as this was, we also had conflicting and distracting interpersonal situations to deal with during work hours because of the many doctor-nurse relationships.  It was quite a simmering stew of young women mixed with older, rich, prestigious men.

Soap opera and reality combined to form some pretty insane chemistry experiments.  Anything you can imagine, from nurses having “quickies” in the treatment room, to giving doctors blow-jobs in the bath room.  It was safe to say that there were more than just the patients’ body secretions floating about on the ward.

How long would a patient have to wait to get their call-light answered . . .

Continue reading To Have and to Hold – Part 6 – Oh Where, Oh Where Did My Property Go?

To Have and to Hold – Part 5 – The Alpha and Omega

* Ok folks, my apologies.  This chapter is a bit long at over 2500 words.  I had no idea where I’d go when I started writing this morning, but I thought it was important to provide some more personal history before getting to the technicalities of marital asset division.  To provide a better understanding.  Yeah, I was stupid.  Love is blind.  So at the risk of my own personal embarrassment here goes:

It’s said that every story has a beginning, a middle, and an end.  Of course, it’s a little more interesting to jump around a bit, so if you’re looking for chronological order in the tales of my marriages and divorces, well, you might have to string some of my posts together in a completely different way.

For instance, today, I’ll jump towards the end.  And then towards the beginning of my first marriage.  The Alpha and the Omega – in reverse order, of course.  Time to set the stage for the grand dissolution.  The first one.  Then wash, rinse, and repeat, maybe.  😊

Continue reading To Have and to Hold – Part 5 – The Alpha and Omega

To Have and to Hold – Part 3 – Where the Rubber Meets the Road

I remember in my first semester of law school being in property class.  One of my fellow students was answering the professor’s question.  They grilled us pretty hard.  The Socratic Method.  My classmate made an error.  They had said,

“Well, that’s not fair!”

My instructor paused for a moment.  Chuckled.  And then replied.  “I was wondering how long it would be before someone used the ‘F’ word.  If you’re going to argue that something is not ‘fair,’ then you have to tell me why it is not ‘legally fair’.”

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Continue reading To Have and to Hold – Part 3 – Where the Rubber Meets the Road

To Have and to Hold – Part I – Myths of Old and New

I listed a couple of my disclaimers in yesterday’s intro into this series, but I better cover them here as well:

My writings on this topic will be based upon a mix of personal experience and my experience as an attorney.

All opinions are my own, and it is not my intent to upset anyone in any way or feed into any stereotypes or traditional prejudices that people may have.

None of us can have a full understanding of what other folks are doing, or what’s in their minds, their perspectives, what they were taught, what their intentions are, or why events in their lives may have unfolded the way they did.

Obviously, since I’m a male, you will be hearing a male perspective, but I’ve tried to balance that and be as objective as possible.  For those following my blog, you may remember I did a series on being “Woke” where I discussed gender roles and patriarchy, and I tried to provide a balanced discussion in that series as well.

Also, readers may span different generations and have been taught completely different things and may approach love, sex, and marriage in completely different ways than prior generations.   Or they may come from a different cultural base that treats relationships completely different than from the way they are treated in this country.  One of my blogging friends just this morning introduced a different term for this discussion – the “bonded pair,” and I like that because it encompasses much more than a single concept.

I have edited parts of my articles to remove personal observations that some might find objectionable.  It is not always easy for people to look in the mirror, or into the mirror I’m holding.  I’m trying to respect that.  But those observations may come out once comments begin.

Everyone will have their views, and I hope you will share yours with me frankly – trust me, I won’t be offended.

All that being said, let’s dive into some myths.  Even at the risk of my own embarrassment. :-0

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Continue reading To Have and to Hold – Part I – Myths of Old and New

Cross Over – Into the FIRE

Now that I’m retired, I’ve been sharing time, and stories, with my fellow retirees.  I can tell you one thing in common between us.  We are all much happier than we were during the days of our productive employment, even if we were working on one of those lofty, feel-good, society-serving, professional pathways.  Things are much better now.

Simply put, we have a lot less crap to deal with.

And the people we used to work with often stymied our ability to live up to our maximum potential, or to serve our target population to that full potential.

We fought the good-fight, but we didn’t often win.

And now that I’m retired, I keep seeing a billion articles about retirement and what resources you need to retire plastered all over the Internet.  I’m seeing these as a result of targeted ads, I’m sure, but if you stop and read any of these posts the common wisdom you can derive is that neither I, nor any of my retired friends, could possibly afford being out of the workforce.

We all must be starving to death.

Continue reading Cross Over – Into the FIRE

Time Fell Back

For being a totally artificial construct, time certainly can beguile us.

Lead us into a false sense of security when there seems to be plenty of “time-to-spare.” Yet place us in a state of sheer panic if time has “escaped us.”  Particularly for workplace deadlines.  Or when we’re dashing across the airport terminal trying to catch that connecting flight.  Or maybe when we’re counting the seconds between the contractions a mother endures during childbirth.

A new life blooms that will soon be “ticking away” the hours.

Continue reading Time Fell Back

Speaking Freely

**Disclaimer: By writing this post, I am in no way claiming to be a constitutional expert.  I am commenting as a now retired attorney, who did ace Con Law, and did have many opportunities to see all this stuff play out in the legal arena for almost 20 years.  Give it whatever credibility you choose.  It’s my blog, and I’m speaking freely 🙂

*****

I have intentionally not posted too many articles to the political section on my blog because we seem to live in a time where such issues are truly filled with volatility.   By that, I mean people tend to get a bit EXPLOSIVE (imagine that word in flaming font that WP sadly doesn’t support) about their political opinions and there is plenty of hate-speech circulating about the Net without me stirring the pot on Word Press.

Word Press is more of a happy place for us writers, as it should be.

And while there are many web forums where people do speak freely, and at times in threatening manners, from what I’ve read, not many people understand what this means from a legal perspective at all.  Not even close.

So, today I thought I would speak about speaking.  😊  It seems like a particularly appropriate topic given CEO Jack Dorsey’s announcement that Twitter would ban political ads on its social media platform.

And before people start screaming that Twitter’s decision is somehow violating someone’s rights, let me just say from the beginning, it’s not.  Plain and simple.  Not even close.

And, I hate to tell you, there are no Constitutional rights to smoke cigarettes or eat cheeseburgers either.   That statement may actually irritate some people a lot more than Twitter’s decision to ban campaign ads.  But it’s also true.

Continue reading Speaking Freely

I Really Was Angry

It’s that time of year again.  The days are growing shorter, the weather colder.  Too cold for the moment.

It seems winter’s breath has arrived early this year.

Time when we’re forced indoors.  To hibernate.  Or cook stews, perhaps.

This is also the time of year when I start thinking about getting off my ass and finishing that book I started many years ago.

A stew of its own . . .

Continue reading I Really Was Angry

Success?

I’ve been having fun kicking out the blog posts the past few days and digging into other blogs searching for those words that make my brain light up with joy.  And one of the themes that keeps swirling around that I’ve noticed on some of the other blogs has to do with whether you’re a success.

How on Earth are you going to gauge that one?

Success in whose terms?  Or in what way?  Or is it all a numbers game?

Continue reading Success?

“Dooced” Anyone?

I had grown a bit weary of my current job in the legal profession, so I thought I’d back track and check out the market in nursing.  After all, all of my colleagues had remarked, at one time or another, that I always had my first career to fall back on.

And, I was excited because I found a job where I thought I could put both my nursing and legal expertise to work as the director of nursing for a long-term care facility.  The hiring manager was even more so excited when he reviewed my resume.  It was the fastest phone call I ever received in response to an online job application.

My interview was set for just a few days away, but by the time I arrived at the facility, something drastic had changed in the way I was treated and by the demeanor of everyone I encountered in the building.  I was shuffled off to a dark conference room and told to wait.

Continue reading “Dooced” Anyone?

Relationships – What’s Binding? Heart, Soul, or Contract?

My blogging friend, LA, recently wrote a couple of posts about one of the traditions surrounding the marriage contract.   And yes, while the piece of paper a couple signs says “marriage license” it’s actually a contract with a lot of implied terms and conditions.

The tradition LA had focused on was that of the men asking parental permission to marry their daughter.  This question provoked some good discussion on the possible drawbacks of maintaining such a tradition in modern times.

At the same time this discussion was transpiring, I came across an article suggesting that married couples needed an additional contract, a “relationship contract,” especially if they were a dual-career couple.

Continue reading Relationships – What’s Binding? Heart, Soul, or Contract?

Unworthy America

Feeling unworthy can lead to a premature death – a death rooted in despair . . .

Back in January 2018, I wrote a piece called “Balance,” where I began collecting economic statistics for the US.

I’ve been updating it from time to time and my last update was on January 27, 2019.  You see, if you start looking at actual numbers, instead of listening to politicians’ drivel, you will get a better sense for the economic struggle that many Americans face.  You will also get an idea about how the 1%ers do everything they can to shape the laws to keep them in their elevated class and keep everyone else below them.

Continue reading Unworthy America

The Smart Pony

Back around the turn of the century, there was a famous Orloy Trotter Horse in Germany who was acclaimed for being able to perform arithmetic and other intellectual feats.   The horse’s name was Clever Hans.

After a formal investigation into his skills, a psychologist claimed the horse was smart, but only in the sense that it paid attention to the reactions and body language of his trainer.  The trainer, it was said, had no idea the horse was eyeing him for the cues on how to respond to the ongoing tests. 

Well, this story is not about Clever Hans.

Warning:  I have a bit of a sarcastic, sardonic, and cynical sense of humor.  I think a lot of people do, but some don’t, and they may not get my attempts to poke fun at things.  That’s ok, but I just wanted to warn the reader that’s where we’re headed today, down sarcastic, cynical lane. 😊

Disclaimer:  And while I’m poking fun at a business conference below, understand that I’m not really trying to belittle the people who made their presentations.  They were all very nice people and some were incredibly smart folks.  That doesn’t mean we can’t have a sense of humor about the topics being presented and the terminology they used.

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Ok, so yesterday I was having a little fun with some new words and phrases coming out of the business sector.  And I ended that post by mentioning something else I did once at a work conference.  Something I thought was rather amusing, and you can do this too the next time you’re at one of those oh-so-boring meetings.

Continue reading The Smart Pony