Tag Archives: Storytelling

To Have and to Hold – Part 5 – The Alpha and Omega

* Ok folks, my apologies.  This chapter is a bit long at over 2500 words.  I had no idea where I’d go when I started writing this morning, but I thought it was important to provide some more personal history before getting to the technicalities of marital asset division.  To provide a better understanding.  Yeah, I was stupid.  Love is blind.  So at the risk of my own personal embarrassment here goes:

It’s said that every story has a beginning, a middle, and an end.  Of course, it’s a little more interesting to jump around a bit, so if you’re looking for chronological order in the tales of my marriages and divorces, well, you might have to string some of my posts together in a completely different way.

For instance, today, I’ll jump towards the end.  And then towards the beginning of my first marriage.  The Alpha and the Omega – in reverse order, of course.  Time to set the stage for the grand dissolution.  The first one.  Then wash, rinse, and repeat, maybe.  😊

Continue reading To Have and to Hold – Part 5 – The Alpha and Omega

To Have and to Hold – Part 4 – A Zigging and A Zagging

When my daughter was a teenager, I told her to avoid two things during her teenage years that could leave her struggling for financial gain and independence for the rest of her life.  Two Albatrosses, that could strangle and weigh her down and prevent her from ever getting ahead.

Smoking cigarettes and having babies.

These two things are incredible financial weights that can decimate monthly earnings, prevent you from going to college or learning a trade, and have the potential to actually impoverish you if take these on early in life.  Especially in your teens, before you’ve even start building a career.

But there are other weights we can acquire later in life just as devastating, and some might put marriage in that category.   Why, because they dissolve and turn into everlasting debt.  Or at least very long-standing debt.  The debt from a divorce can bankrupt you.

***

Continue reading To Have and to Hold – Part 4 – A Zigging and A Zagging

A Momentary Pause – Smile

A momentary pause here.  Hitting the reset button.  With about 500 words. 🙂

One of the things I truly enjoy about blogging has been the community.  And I noticed from the beginning that the tone of most pages is one that is upbeat and positive.  In fact, many are inspirational.

And I think people seek out the words that help them rejoice in the day.

Generally speaking, I’ve followed this path with my writings, but there are times I have to note that some of my posts, and my most recent posts in particular, do stray into negative waters.  The series I’m doing on marriage right now is one of those examples, as is the post yesterday about having been looted.

And while I realize this is real life, and many people like reading real life posts, others simply find these monologues depressing and uninteresting.  Some may not like reminders of the troubling situations they are in.

Or that human nature can be so vile.

Continue reading A Momentary Pause – Smile

Let the Looting Begin . . .

** For those of you enjoying my series “To Have and To Hold,” have no fear, more chapters still to come.  But today I traveled down a different avenue . . . 

***

I’m sure most of us can remember when we first passed our driver’s test and received our driver’s license.   Teen years have their unique set of crazy memories as we plowed through milestone after milestone, but one of the biggest, if not the biggest, for us kids in America is that rite of passage into the driving community.  Why?

Because that translates immediately into FREEDOM!

Freedom from our homes, from our parents, from the doldrums.

We have gone mobile, and we can visit friends, head off to the movies, or just show off and cruise around town.  And this usually means going on a real date with someone too.

Provided we have gas.  And a car, of course.  And that means money, we have to have money.

This provides an incentive for work, because we have to pay for everything associated with our ride’s upkeep, or at least those of us who were not spoiled did.  We had to work for these things.  But it’s totally worth it.  This is a big step towards breaking entirely free into our independent existence where we make our own rules.

I do whatever I want now!  My home.  My car.  My rules.  Right?  At least so far as those rules don’t run too far astray from the rest of society’s rules.

Continue reading Let the Looting Begin . . .

To Have and to Hold – Part 3 – Where the Rubber Meets the Road

I remember in my first semester of law school being in property class.  One of my fellow students was answering the professor’s question.  They grilled us pretty hard.  The Socratic Method.  My classmate made an error.  They had said,

“Well, that’s not fair!”

My instructor paused for a moment.  Chuckled.  And then replied.  “I was wondering how long it would be before someone used the ‘F’ word.  If you’re going to argue that something is not ‘fair,’ then you have to tell me why it is not ‘legally fair’.”

***

Continue reading To Have and to Hold – Part 3 – Where the Rubber Meets the Road

To Have and to Hold – Part 2 – Contract, What Contract?

So, what’s all this talk about a contract?

And forgive me, but this post is going to get a little technical.  But not too technical. 😊

If you haven’t, you might want to read part one first to understand this post’s jumping off point.  Also, nothing I’m going to talk about will cover all of the intricacies of the law, or the evolution of marriage law, nor will it constitute legal advice.  If you want true legal advice, please go hire an attorney.

Here we go . . .

Continue reading To Have and to Hold – Part 2 – Contract, What Contract?

To Have and to Hold – Part I – Myths of Old and New

I listed a couple of my disclaimers in yesterday’s intro into this series, but I better cover them here as well:

My writings on this topic will be based upon a mix of personal experience and my experience as an attorney.

All opinions are my own, and it is not my intent to upset anyone in any way or feed into any stereotypes or traditional prejudices that people may have.

None of us can have a full understanding of what other folks are doing, or what’s in their minds, their perspectives, what they were taught, what their intentions are, or why events in their lives may have unfolded the way they did.

Obviously, since I’m a male, you will be hearing a male perspective, but I’ve tried to balance that and be as objective as possible.  For those following my blog, you may remember I did a series on being “Woke” where I discussed gender roles and patriarchy, and I tried to provide a balanced discussion in that series as well.

Also, readers may span different generations and have been taught completely different things and may approach love, sex, and marriage in completely different ways than prior generations.   Or they may come from a different cultural base that treats relationships completely different than from the way they are treated in this country.  One of my blogging friends just this morning introduced a different term for this discussion – the “bonded pair,” and I like that because it encompasses much more than a single concept.

I have edited parts of my articles to remove personal observations that some might find objectionable.  It is not always easy for people to look in the mirror, or into the mirror I’m holding.  I’m trying to respect that.  But those observations may come out once comments begin.

Everyone will have their views, and I hope you will share yours with me frankly – trust me, I won’t be offended.

All that being said, let’s dive into some myths.  Even at the risk of my own embarrassment. :-0

*****

Continue reading To Have and to Hold – Part I – Myths of Old and New

To Think, or Not To Think . . .

My social media friend Carol Hopkins posted a quote from Rumi on FB today that reads:

“Raise your words, not your voice.  It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.”

Now Rumi was a 13th-century Persian poet, and apparently a pretty smart guy.  I imagine if they had televisions back then he would have cautioned us to turn them off.

Continue reading To Think, or Not To Think . . .

Ultracrepidarian

I had several ideas for writing this morning, but then I came across this word.   “Ul·tra·crep·i·dar·i·an.”

Of course, I love words, love finding new words, and I had to drop everything and look this one up.  If that was the goal of the person using this word in a comment on a web posting, well Mission Accomplished.

Before I checked, just looking at the word makes me think of something big or extreme (ultra), and something creeping (crep – the Urban Dictionary says creps are shoes).  “Dar,” by itself, is used as an acronym, but has little meaning of its own that I could find.  “Darian” is the Greek name meaning “gift,” but I doubt there is any hidden gift here.  And the suffix “ian,” by itself, means to have the same qualities of something.

Continue reading Ultracrepidarian

Gray Days Revisited

Gray Days Revisited

I think I’m going to start a new tradition on Word Press.

It’s obviously the beginning of November and this is the time of year when those of us who live in areas with decreasing sunshine are afflicted with Seasonal Affective Disorder.  “SAD” – what a cute acronym.

SAD has become more of an issue for me after my days spent in Arizona where there seemed to be an unlimited supply of Sunshine – even during the monsoon season.

Well, I wrote a piece about these “Gray Days” a while back, and I re-posted it last year, and so now the tradition has solidified.  This time, I’ll just put the link below (and above) as opposed to re-posting the blog.  If you have the desire to read further, click away.

If not, well you’re missing out 🙂

It crossed my mind, when I re-read my post today, that I was in a highly creative state of mind when I originally wrote it, as well as the posts surrounding that time in general.  You see, I was in love then, and the creative juices always flow more when I’m in love.

I might have been in love with a person, a place, or even a passing idea – a newly formed and beautiful image in my mind.  A dream.

But love, regardless of its source, is all powerful.  And while it’s difficult, we writers do try to express such feelings with words.

I read a great post from my blogging friend Cristian Mahai today that began with a beautiful quote from Faulkner.  Check it out for a little inspiration about the writer’s duty and about beauty.  I think this fulfills my duty for the day.  And read on, if you wish, about how even the grayest of days can be colorful and inspiring!

Here’s the link, again, to – Gray Days.

In Metta

LOGOz

Photo:  Even the most gray, rainy, and cold days can be very beautiful – like this image I captured in the Rocky Mountains.

Orange Sky

I took part of the day yesterday to be a music day.  I don’t always take time out to listen to music, but I believe it’s one of the most magical creations that flows through people.

And it always takes me away to a place where I’m happy.

It’s similar to writing, in a way, because there are a limited number of musical notes, but an unlimited number of combinations of those notes to produce, well, to produce something magnificent.

Only so many words, but we writers craft them in so many ways.

And from my various pics you know that I’m rather fond of sunsets and sunrises too.  And sometimes, you just happen to be at the right place at the right time to catch a glorious one.

So here’s a combination of a sunset with a song.  Hope you enjoy it.  And while it’s playing, I’ll go back to that creative corner in my mind and ponder the next writing . . .

In Metta

LOGOz

 

 

Photo:  Somewhere in the Southwest that I’m missing today 🙂

I Really Was Angry

It’s that time of year again.  The days are growing shorter, the weather colder.  Too cold for the moment.

It seems winter’s breath has arrived early this year.

Time when we’re forced indoors.  To hibernate.  Or cook stews, perhaps.

This is also the time of year when I start thinking about getting off my ass and finishing that book I started many years ago.

A stew of its own . . .

Continue reading I Really Was Angry

“Dooced” Anyone?

I had grown a bit weary of my current job in the legal profession, so I thought I’d back track and check out the market in nursing.  After all, all of my colleagues had remarked, at one time or another, that I always had my first career to fall back on.

And, I was excited because I found a job where I thought I could put both my nursing and legal expertise to work as the director of nursing for a long-term care facility.  The hiring manager was even more so excited when he reviewed my resume.  It was the fastest phone call I ever received in response to an online job application.

My interview was set for just a few days away, but by the time I arrived at the facility, something drastic had changed in the way I was treated and by the demeanor of everyone I encountered in the building.  I was shuffled off to a dark conference room and told to wait.

Continue reading “Dooced” Anyone?