Category Archives: Storytelling

To Have and to Hold – Part 4 – A Zigging and A Zagging

When my daughter was a teenager, I told her to avoid two things during her teenage years that could leave her struggling for financial gain and independence for the rest of her life.  Two Albatrosses, that could strangle and weigh her down and prevent her from ever getting ahead.

Smoking cigarettes and having babies.

These two things are incredible financial weights that can decimate monthly earnings, prevent you from going to college or learning a trade, and have the potential to actually impoverish you if take these on early in life.  Especially in your teens, before you’ve even start building a career.

But there are other weights we can acquire later in life just as devastating, and some might put marriage in that category.   Why, because they dissolve and turn into everlasting debt.  Or at least very long-standing debt.  The debt from a divorce can bankrupt you.

***

Continue reading To Have and to Hold – Part 4 – A Zigging and A Zagging

To Have and to Hold – Part 3 – Where the Rubber Meets the Road

I remember in my first semester of law school being in property class.  One of my fellow students was answering the professor’s question.  They grilled us pretty hard.  The Socratic Method.  My classmate made an error.  They had said,

“Well, that’s not fair!”

My instructor paused for a moment.  Chuckled.  And then replied.  “I was wondering how long it would be before someone used the ‘F’ word.  If you’re going to argue that something is not ‘fair,’ then you have to tell me why it is not ‘legally fair’.”

***

Continue reading To Have and to Hold – Part 3 – Where the Rubber Meets the Road

To Have and to Hold – Part 2 – Contract, What Contract?

So, what’s all this talk about a contract?

And forgive me, but this post is going to get a little technical.  But not too technical. 😊

If you haven’t, you might want to read part one first to understand this post’s jumping off point.  Also, nothing I’m going to talk about will cover all of the intricacies of the law, or the evolution of marriage law, nor will it constitute legal advice.  If you want true legal advice, please go hire an attorney.

Here we go . . .

Continue reading To Have and to Hold – Part 2 – Contract, What Contract?

To Have and to Hold – Part I – Myths of Old and New

I listed a couple of my disclaimers in yesterday’s intro into this series, but I better cover them here as well:

My writings on this topic will be based upon a mix of personal experience and my experience as an attorney.

All opinions are my own, and it is not my intent to upset anyone in any way or feed into any stereotypes or traditional prejudices that people may have.

None of us can have a full understanding of what other folks are doing, or what’s in their minds, their perspectives, what they were taught, what their intentions are, or why events in their lives may have unfolded the way they did.

Obviously, since I’m a male, you will be hearing a male perspective, but I’ve tried to balance that and be as objective as possible.  For those following my blog, you may remember I did a series on being “Woke” where I discussed gender roles and patriarchy, and I tried to provide a balanced discussion in that series as well.

Also, readers may span different generations and have been taught completely different things and may approach love, sex, and marriage in completely different ways than prior generations.   Or they may come from a different cultural base that treats relationships completely different than from the way they are treated in this country.  One of my blogging friends just this morning introduced a different term for this discussion – the “bonded pair,” and I like that because it encompasses much more than a single concept.

I have edited parts of my articles to remove personal observations that some might find objectionable.  It is not always easy for people to look in the mirror, or into the mirror I’m holding.  I’m trying to respect that.  But those observations may come out once comments begin.

Everyone will have their views, and I hope you will share yours with me frankly – trust me, I won’t be offended.

All that being said, let’s dive into some myths.  Even at the risk of my own embarrassment. :-0

*****

Continue reading To Have and to Hold – Part I – Myths of Old and New

I Really Was Angry

It’s that time of year again.  The days are growing shorter, the weather colder.  Too cold for the moment.

It seems winter’s breath has arrived early this year.

Time when we’re forced indoors.  To hibernate.  Or cook stews, perhaps.

This is also the time of year when I start thinking about getting off my ass and finishing that book I started many years ago.

A stew of its own . . .

Continue reading I Really Was Angry

“Dooced” Anyone?

I had grown a bit weary of my current job in the legal profession, so I thought I’d back track and check out the market in nursing.  After all, all of my colleagues had remarked, at one time or another, that I always had my first career to fall back on.

And, I was excited because I found a job where I thought I could put both my nursing and legal expertise to work as the director of nursing for a long-term care facility.  The hiring manager was even more so excited when he reviewed my resume.  It was the fastest phone call I ever received in response to an online job application.

My interview was set for just a few days away, but by the time I arrived at the facility, something drastic had changed in the way I was treated and by the demeanor of everyone I encountered in the building.  I was shuffled off to a dark conference room and told to wait.

Continue reading “Dooced” Anyone?

One Foot in Front of the Other

If you’ve read many of the posts on my blog, you know that I talk about hiking in Nature a lot.  This is part of my spiritual practice, to get out in the Natural World.  But a friend asked a reasonable question not long ago, so I decided to think about it and write something on it.  They asked:

“What’s the difference between hiking and walking?”

It turns out that is a bit more profound than it seems, because we, as humans, like to define and differentiate things.  To the extreme. 😊

Continue reading One Foot in Front of the Other

Spiritual Consumerism ????

To say it was a slow burn would be inaccurate.  It was just plain a bonfire.  Sparks to high flying flames.  Embers floating upward on newly created thermals, warm and glowing, a continual burn.  That was this past summer as I traveled about taking in new sights. Hiking in Nature.

That collective place, that I call the “Real World,” where I feel at home.

There was a crescendo, however.  You might say.  A peak.  Not a turning point, and it wasn’t like things diminished in anyway afterwards, but it was a stand out moment.  The day I did the Green Lakes hike.

You see I had been building toward this adventure for a while.  Slowing increasing my hiking distances.  Acclimating to the higher altitudes.  And while the trail markers seemed to indicate a shorter distance, they were wrong.  I knew it by what maps revealed and planned accordingly.

This hike, while longer, reminded me of one I did in Montana.  To Avalanche Lake.  That hike was shorter in distance, but it similarly ended in a spectacular view.  A total sense-flooding awe.  A take-your-breath-away moment.

This new mission built from the Douglas Fir forest, to the many waterfalls, to the rainbow of wildflowers, to the lakes and surrounding mountains.

A sort of reach out and touch God journey.

Continue reading Spiritual Consumerism ????

B Plus

Some days, it’s just difficult for me to resist.  Poking fun at language and usage.

Especially with the business community.

Whenever I worked for big organizations, it seemed that some managers were always trying to justify their existence by constantly rebranding the old with a new term, or maybe even coming up with a new label and experiment to further dehumanize the workforce.  After all, it’s easier to mistreat staff and dispose of them that way.

One of my most despised manager’s famous quotes was: “Attrition is our friend.”

I mean, how do you justify having 400 managers for a 400-bed hospital?  And yes, I worked at such a place as an RN.  I used to joke, although it wasn’t that funny, that each patient could have their own personal billing executive, but they had to share their nurse with six other patients.  And when a patient died, I quipped, “I guess we can fire his manager now.”

Continue reading B Plus

The River – Old School

Or maybe I should say, old school style with modern outfitters . . .

***

As the gorge narrowed the wind picked up, and the air temperature noticeably dropped.  The calming frequency of the soft rush of the water shifted timbre.  Now cascading, surging ever faster downward, as the amplitude of the waves, both in size and pitch, increased to a deafening roar.

We hung on tight with both hands as the V-shaped bow and rigid hull sliced into the first wave, but the second was much larger.  And the small vessel skirted straight up its crest, reminiscent of a mighty ocean sailing ship in a surging Atlantic storm, but in miniature.

SR - 7

At the oarsman’s skillful command, the boat shifted sideways as it rolled down into the trough in time for the next wave to crest high above our heads.  Crashing down, completely drenching us, the flare of the hull offering no protection.  Filling the open compartments to the frame’s brim.

Our laughter could be heard above the roar of the rapids as we bailed.

Continue reading The River – Old School

Binding Energy

I’ve always loved the sciences.  Even as a little kid, I enjoyed studying the various phenomena of our planet and learning about all of the processes going on with all of the different species.  Even the things people look at as being inanimate, like rocks and their geological history.

And us human animals too.  Now there’s a science project!

It’s just totally fascinating examining the diversity of species, all stemming from common DNA, and all of the electrical, chemical, and biomechanical energy and interactions that make us living, breathing, functioning organisms.

And all of us many species are so interrelated and interconnected.  And so interdependent on maintaining a balance for survival.  A microscopic, microcosmic juggling act of such immense proportions that it’s hard to wrap your mind around.

Of course, there’s even more as you delve into mind and spirit.  And what of the nature of the heart?

Hard to express those with a mathematical formula.  Maybe someday, someone will figure out a way to do that. 😊

And as much as I enjoy the study of the sciences, I’m not exactly a math wizard.  And there is lots of math involved.  And it’s been many years since I sat in some of those classrooms.  So, let’s just say that to this day, I remain a huge fan and student of conceptual physics and chemistry, among other things.

And there are many concepts that are adaptable, in principle, to many other concepts, at least metaphorically.  And what better way to have fun as a wordsmith than to blend and mix and blur and enjoy.

So, today’s subject from the blender is binding energy.

Continue reading Binding Energy

And the Standing People Say . . .

Each day right now bears some similarities, and also many differences.

As I drive out to the next trailhead there is a certain level of anxiety encroaching.

That’s the similarity.

But it’s not my anxiety.  It belongs to others.

Continue reading And the Standing People Say . . .

The Beta Male – Being “Woke” – Part 3

A few summers ago, I was up in Michigan visiting family.  The focal point, my brother’s home, was crowded so I bedded down at a nearby hotel.  It happened there was a lounge in the hotel and so it also happened that taking a break there after reunion time with family each day led me to meet a couple of new friends.

Even if these relationships would be passing in short order, three days to be exact, I would still call them friendships.  We bonded over sharing our purposes for our travel and our daily episodes into life.

One of these people was a very beautiful woman, lesbian in sexual orientation.  I’ll call her Mary.  The other was a somewhat boisterous guy, all American male.  Tom.  And then there was me.

Continue reading The Beta Male – Being “Woke” – Part 3