There’s a lot to be said for living on the road.
Breaking free from all of those forces we allow to hold us down. Those voices that tell us that we can’t fly.
To live in the moment. See, hear, feel, smell, and even taste those expansive vistas that take us to other worlds. That show us there is so much more to life than just a material existence.
And while we are breathing in such vastness in the physical and metaphysical worlds, there is also a lot of time for introspection. Visiting that inner, mental world. Of equal breadth. Time for looking deep within, into our brilliance and our shadows and . . . judging.
Who is that judge?
That most critical of all voices.
Where does it come from? Why is it present?
And really, doesn’t that voice seem to surface most often when directed outwardly? Incessantly pronouncing and projecting all sorts of mayhem upon everything and everybody.
Or is it?
It’s been said that when we judge others, we are merely seeing and criticizing those now named “defects” in ourselves. Gazing into the mirror that reflects back those qualities we don’t like to admit belong to us. In comparison to . . .
Where does all of this comparison come from. For to judge something as bad or wrong or inferior, we must have been taught that some opposite is good or right or superior.
Are there some arbitrary, immortal standards out there? The “rules?” The “guideposts?” And who is gifted with such great power as to determine all of society’s “shoulds?” Those fictitious measuring staffs.
The right way you should appear in public. The right way to act in certain situations. When to speak up. When to shut up. The “right” things we should desire.
The “judge,” when focusing on our inner darkness, our so-called “shadow side,” can be convicting and sentencing us to a mental prison. A gloomy, jaundiced, even nugatory, interpretation of our worthiness compared to those artificial standards.
How will we ever measure up? And how will we ever break free of these eternal, self-inflicted condemnations?
After all, this shadow-side is supposed to be composed of those “primitive, negative human emotions and impulses like rage, envy, greed, selfishness, desire, and the striving for power.” Or as Carl Jung has said, “such things as egotism, mental laziness, and sloppiness; unreal fantasies, schemes, and plots; carelessness and cowardice; inordinate love of money and possessions.”
Experiences are intensified when we eliminate all of the distractions. And I find that when I’m on the road, those interferences have been lifted. So that internal skirmishing can become a no-holds-barred fight. A struggle of the self.
To find identity. Validity. To purify. To evolve.
And boiling down all this pondering, the question that I find myself faced with is simply this,
“Am I worthy?”
Worthy of what? Fill in the blank.
It could be anything and everything. Just what is your value? How do you see yourself in the great scheme of things? In the tiniest aspect of something? Or perhaps to someone else?
And many times, I have answered this question in the negative. Although, I’m not sure I have a good reason why.
So, eliminate the many distractions in your life and give up the pretense that you are judging others. Ask yourself that question of all questions today.
“Are you worthy?”
Then ask yourself, in comparison to what? And why would you even question so?
Photo: Does the flower judge the bee that takes its nectar? Does the flower know the bee pollinates and propagates the flower’s species? To pass judgment we have to begin with a pretense that we actually know something and its true valve.