Well, I’ve been developing this series to try to draw the conversation into to what it means to be “enlightened” or “conscious” in our gender roles. Particularly for men.
I’ve talked about matriarchal versus patriarchal societies, the origins of the buzz word “woke” and cultural appropriation, and Alpha and Beta males. So now comes the easy part. The list.
Lists can be helpful, but they can also over-simplify things. Regardless, in this case, I think it’s important to provide that list, or someone else’s list, to serve as a basis of discussion.
So just what does it mean, or what is it supposed to mean if you are a “Woke Dude?”
Well, the article “10 Unmistakable Signs of a Woke Dude,” written by Billy Manas, lists out ten basic traits of a man who can said to be “woke.” These characteristics, however, don’t give us a basic definition, per se, or provide us with any of the implications of dudes “waking up.” So, I’ll throw in the implied definition that being “woke” means that you are an “enlightened male” who understands and empathizes with women in order to have relationships – business, social, and intimate – that are all balanced and based on mutual respect.
The implications of men waking up are that we will live in an egalitarian society and the sexual objectification and exploitation of women would come to an end. And that the world would be a much better place for this to happen.
To paraphrase and elaborate a little from the article, these ten qualities are:
- The Woke Man wants to eliminate the patriarchy, with extreme prejudice.
- He welcomes and understands women’s anger towards “unwoke” men and the patriarchy. He doesn’t take this personally.
- He’ll raise courageous daughters.
- He’ll raise sons with high emotional intelligence, and will possess this trait himself.
- He’ll be repulsed by the sexist portrayal of gender roles in mainstream media.
- He’ll be magnetized by powerful women, not threatened by them.
- In intimate relationships, he’ll be a giver, not a taker.
- He will never objectify women.
- Sexual relationships are viewed as a sacred unions. He will seek mutual fulfillment on a higher level, as opposed to being focused on self-centered immediate sexual gratification.
- He’s a good listener.
There you go. Simple, yes? Complete, maybe not? But this is the gist of the definition and traits that are floating about out there in cyberspace right now.
From my standpoint, this seems a bit anticlimactic. After all of the build up of my previous posts, one might expect something more dramatic. Hard-hitting. Heart-stopping. Over the cliff flinging!
Or maybe I’m wrong and you do think this is a pretty significant “new” concept. It certainly represents a powerful change, but really, a “new Earth-shattering idea?” I think not.
I find it lacking the big punch because I might simply call possessing these traits as being a “good man.” I didn’t need a new word for it. Nor did I need the implication that men must “wake” up from being “bad men” and become “conscious” or “enlightened” to establish a new social order. I’ve agreed with those ideas for quite some time. But like I said in a prior post, I had good role models in my mother and father. And I received a good education.
I’ve known that women and men are equal, should be treated that way, that relationships are sacred unions, and I’ve been quite magnetized by strong, intelligent, compassionate, (insert the whole list of positive adjectives here) women, starting back since when I was about fifteen years old. And I’m guessing I’m not the only guy who has ever thought this way.
So, what gives here? Why all of the attention now?
I think the new-found focus on this has come about in relation to the current media cycle, and that directly relates to current events in our society.
In the past couple of years, it’s become readily apparent just how thoroughly sexism (and racism for that matter) is entrenched in this society. And that new light being shined on an old problem is the direct result of the old, fat, white men’s club becoming threatened with drifting into oblivion.
The overt actions, and exposures of covert ones, to maintain the status quo and give renewed license to the continued exploitation of others is what is waking people up. Or what is driving the call for people, especially men, to wake up.
But, would men becoming “woke” really solve this problem?
I’m not sure it’s that simple, because the whole of society has been socialized and acculturated to accepting gender roles that have been entrenched for hundreds of years. Women, too, will have to awaken, although I do believe more women are already awake than are men at this point in time.
And that’s a part I think that is missing from this discussion. All that I’m reading about being a “Woke Dude” seems to carry the implication that men becoming woke will solve all male and female relationship issues and that gender will approach a more homogeneous or equalized frequency.
I actually hope things evolve that way. But we’re not there now. And I’ve met a number of women along the way that do not think this is a natural expression of the male identity and have told me that women are supposed to serve men in a subjugated role – their religion teaches them this, or so they say.
And a recent study, published in Psychology Today, concluded that women find sexist men more attractive than “woke” men because they believe sexist men are more committed to them and more willing to make sacrifices for their family than a man who wishes to see women becoming empowered and independent.*
So that will give us the segue to the next post. What does it mean for women to become conscious, or perhaps, what I am seeing as being defined as a return to the “Divine Feminine?” And I hope you all will jump into the discussion, as I am certainly no expert on that topic.
Till next time,
Photo: I took this shot when I was visiting Denver. There was a lot of street graffiti there, some of it brilliant. Once considered a nuisance, or maybe even criminal, now graffiti has evolved into an art form in its own right.
I chose this picture because I interpret this as being an image of the Thunderbird. Many Native American cultures have used the depiction of the Thunderbird. The Thunderbird creates the wind, thunder, and lightening as it beats its enormous wings. It’s believed to be a sign of war in the skies, but also of a victory for wars fought on the ground. In some ancient belief systems, the Thunderbird controls the upper world, and the underworld is controlled by the underwater panther or the Great Horned Spirit.
While this symbol may represent conflict, that I’ll analogize to that between the sexes and societal imperatives, it also represents a victorious end. I see victory as being an enlightened version of our roles and our society, winning out over darkness and prejudice.
*The article I’m referring to is, “Feminists Think Sexist Men Are Sexier than “Woke” Men: Why do Women Find Sexist Men Appealing?”
Link Rot: When I cite to articles or posts circulating out on the Net, I cannot guarantee how long any given hyperlink will be active or even lead to that specific post. These links disappear or can be hijacked over time.
Previous posts in this series include: